Have a Great School Year...And Be the One Who is Kind

“The worst day of school is the first day of school!  The best day of school is the last day of school!”

This is our family song for summertime vs. the school year.  We’ve been lucky to have my kids go to great schools where they are safe, loved, educated, and invested in as humans.  But I still don’t much like sharing my kids for many many hours.  I love when we can go night swimming, sleep in until their bodies are rested, and I’m not tied to the washing machine to make sure it turns out the right color uniform for sports practices. But the worst day of school arrived last week.  

Here in Georgia the summer days are limited, with our kids going back to school the first week of August.  On top of the normal large family business, my husband and I spent the week before school tag teaming this parenting thing to get a parent at all the Back to School events, coordinate all the school supplies, make sure everyone who needs a new backpack, lunch box, or shoes has them ready, all haircuts done, and all lunch items purchased and packed up.  It was a lot of prep work for an unprecedented Back to School season.  This year all 7 of our house sharers are going to their own school.  Do you hear what I’m saying? SEVEN kids at SEVEN different schools. The car magnet game on the back of my stereotypically large SUV is strong.

• Number One Son is in grad school studying a subject that is beyond my level of comprehension but will keep him fascinated for the next 2 years and hopefully gainfully employed beyond that.

  
  

• Artsy Chick is starting to college at our local community college until she can transfer to her dream art school in Savannah.  She was accepted to her dream school, but sometimes dreams are expensive so she’s maturely working out her plan B for college.

  
  

• Diving Bro is starting 11th grade at the high school that’s half a mile away and yet it’s painful to him to have to walk to it. How a human enjoys high school as much as this human does is beyond me. Social butterflies are weird.

  
  

• Baking Chick is a newly minted high school freshman at the high school closest to her mother’s home and her swim school because Baking Chick is as passionate about swimming as she is about baking.

  
  

• Swimming Bro has his middle school all to himself for his 7th grade year.  Ahh, the freedom of no siblings in your territory.

  
  

• Soccer Bro has moved into the middle school wing of his long-time school and insists on getting to school 10 minutes before the doors open to socialize. He assures me that I don’t understand. Ummmkay.

  
  

• The Caboose is our 3rd grader is two years into having his school to himself, though he walks in the footsteps of two older siblings who also passed through those halls.

Thankfully the oldest two are drivers and can ferry themselves as needed to their jobs and classes.  However, the youngest five have lots of car time with my husband and I shuttling them to school, jobs (all four of the older kids work), sports, and friends.  It’s a lot of mileage but also a lot of opportunity to engage with them. Occasionally, I try to give them advice that they may or may not listen to. My advice since my oldest son's first day of school has changed to fit the needs of the kid and of the age, but it has always included the reminder to the be the kind one in the classroom. Be the one who asks the new kid to play, who helps navigate the school hallways, or shares a snack with the kid who forgot theirs. That's always going to be applicable. But for this year here’s my advice to each of our kids as they kick off this new school year, maybe this advice applies to someone you know too.

• Number One Son: The first rule of real estate is location, location, location.  The first rule of grad school is network, network, network.  This is your time to find your opportunities in people and in learning. Figure out what you want in this next phase by learning what others do and want or what they aren’t doing and don’t want.  Also, learn about benefits before you turn 26 and fall off of my benefits.  Health insurance isn’t a gap you want to miss.  And as always, be the one who is kind.

  
  

• Artsy Chick: College is your opportunity to figure out who you want to be as a human and the best way to learn that is to expand your horizons. Try new experiences outside of your comfort zone, find new people who fit the you you are now and the you that you want to become.  They will most likely be your forever people the ones you become an adult with. And be the one who is kind.

  
  

• Diving Bro: Junior year is intense, be prepared to work hard, meet deadlines and plan for the next 3 years.  Ask the questions of people who know, research what you want after high school and set goals toward that. But also make time to enjoy your friends and enjoy being 16 and the new independence and responsibility that comes with that. To that end, also be trustworthy.  And be the one who is kind.

  
  

• Baking Chick: High school is full on culture shock.  It’s the coming together of every type of background and life experience swirled with hormones and squished into one giant building. Be open to others’ experiences and see what you can learn from them, even if you disagree. Be open with your own experiences and to others disagreeing with you. There is so much to learn from the space between your experiences and theirs. Instead of saying “I know”, say “tell me more”, and listen when they do.  And be the one who is kind.

  
  

• Swimming Bro: You are in the unique spots of being the middle grade in middle school. You know more than the newbie 6th graders, so help them navigate this new world when you can. You know less than the 8th graders, so learn from them when you can. Laugh much, share your highs and lows with your friends that love you, and enjoy this being all your space to own for this year. And be the one who is kind.

  
  

• Soccer Bro: Same school, different wing, whole new world. Be respectful even when you aren’t being compliant. Learn how to balance what your responsibilities are with what makes 8 hours of school fun. Choose your friends wisely, they can impact your life experiences more than almost any other choice you make. And be the one who is kind.

  
  

• The Caboose: Know that you are smart, you are masterful at so many things, and you have a kind heart. When life and school get to be overwhelming, think about how good you are at your gifts, how smart you are to think through your choices, and how a kind heart can help you make the best decisions if you listen to that the most. And like your older siblings, please be the one who is kind.

I hope they all have a wonderful school year and that yours do too.  And in keeping with the kind thing, please thank your teachers every day for the work that they do. It's harder that we know and a thank you or word of kindness could be the thing that makes their day.